The Pairing (by Casey McQuiston)

This is the book equivalent of the TV show Smash: not objectively good, but very entertaining to hate-read. My favorite part was actually reading the 1- and 2-star reviews on Goodreads afterwards to help nail down all the things I hated, and here are some choice quotes that add up to a review:

It just came across as two obnoxious Americans being obnoxious on a European food and wine tour.

Theo is a nepo-baby who just can't stand the privilege afforded to them by having rich, famous parents. Kit is a French-born, half-American pastry chef who seems to assume he knows what others are thinking instead of asking. Neither of them knows how to communicate.

All [Kit] did was endlessly wax poetic about cream or a painting of a leaf, or go on and on about how amazing Theo is right after we've had 200 pages of evidence that Theo is not in fact amazing. Do you know how dire it has to be for me to dislike a fruity, hopeless romantic poet man? Very, very dire.  

If they had just talked about their feelings once, the book would have been 75% shorter. 

Theo feels like the perfect character to have a lot of growth throughout the book because of how insufferable they are, but when they reach their peak shittiness the pov just switches to Kit for the rest of the book.

We also get to know relatively early that they’re still in love with each other, which sets the stakes in the book so low it makes you indifferent to everything they’re doing. Of course, they decide that the only way to deal with their mutual pining is to make a sex bet instead of, I don’t know, talking to each other.

Most of [the side characters] were reduced to sexy stereotypes for the main characters to bang. Maybe I want to know what Santiago the chocolatero is like as a person and not what it's like to lick his ass crack, but hey, that's just me. 

Yes, they are sexually compatible, but it seems like they are also sexually compatible with half of Europe... It feels like a book that Gwyneth Paltrow would write if she was nonbinary and taking a food tour across Europe. 

Way too many French people